Funeral Flowers Message Ideas: What to Say
As we all know, sending funeral flowers is a kind gesture to honor the recently departed, but expressing your sympathies to a grieving person or family is a very difficult thing to do, and almost everyone feels like the message they land on sounds like a cliché Hallmark card. It’s impossible to make anyone feel better about losing a loved one, so don’t place those expectations on your message.
In truth, your short message isn’t going to provide much comfort to the grieving family, but it will show that you cared enough to reach out and make a connection. This guide will provide you with a list of ideas for what to write and what not to write. Before you get started, consider the family of the recently departed: Are they religious? Spiritual? Who are you sending flowers to (the child of the deceased, the spouse, the parent, etc.)?
These questions will help frame your message and prevent you from writing an inappropriate note. We’ll go into more detail below.
A Condolence Card: How to Write a Sympathy Message that doesn’t Offend the Reader
What Not to Say
Because you are sending the card with flowers, make sure you choose the appropriate type of funeral flower arrangement.
Consider whether or not the deceased was religious and whether or not his/her family is. If the family is not religious, or even if they are, it would be best to avoid saying things like:
- Everything happens for a reason
- He/she is in a better place now
- He/she is smiling down on us from Heaven
- You’ll see them again some day
- God has a plan for all of us, even if we don’t understand it
- God will never give you more than you can handle
If the family is not religious, the phrases above will certainly insult them, but even if they are the phrases can still be offensive. The last thing you want to hear when you’ve just lost the most important person in your life is that it’s part of some plan or that your loved one is in a better place. You want them by your side, not in some other place.
Understand that those grieving are in a tremendous amount of pain, and some anger and frustration naturally comes with the process. Don’t try to make them feel better with cheap sentences you’ve heard other people spit out 1,000 times before. You don’t have to be a poet or deliver a message that wipes away all their pain — that’s not possible. Appeal to their humanity. Let them know your heart breaks for them and that you’ll be there for them to help in any way you can.
Understand Your Audience
If the family is religious and they believe in the power of prayer, then messages of scripture and “we’re praying for your” will be appreciated.
Keep in mind the personality of the family and deceased. If they’re non-traditional and appreciate a good laugh, then a more common (boring) message might not feel sincere. Believe it or not, there are sympathy cards that say things like “this sucks.” That said, it’s all about the crowd. At some funerals it’s inappropriate to tell jokes, and at other funerals it’s inappropriate not to tell jokes. If you’re close with the departed, you’ll know whether or not comedic relief is a good idea.
If you’re concerned that your message comes across as too generic, think of a fond memory you have of the deceased or an inside joke you shared and write about those experiences. Was the deceased an avid reader? If so, perhaps a line from his/her favorite novel or poem would mean a lot to those in mourning. Or maybe they were a fan of film; in that case, a line from a movie would be fitting.
It all comes down to the personality and interests of the deceased, and of course, the mindset of those who are reading the notes. So no matter what tone you decide to take, remember to be sensitive. Whoever will be reading the card will be in a lot of pain, and he/she will be very emotional, so remember that sometimes things don’t come across on paper as intended.
Ideas for What to Say on a Funeral Flowers Message
We’ve put together a list of funeral messages to help get you started.
- Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
- With deepest sympathies.
- In loving memory.
- With fondest condolences.
- Gone but not forgotten.
- Cherish the memories and the love you shared will never fade.
- Wishing you some small comfort in this time of sorrow.
- Hugs and prayers at this difficult time.
- To gather. To grieve. To celebrate. To praise. To mourn. To love … To remember.
- May the love of family and friends carry you through this difficult time.
- May the memories of _____ fill your heart with so much joy that all the beauty of the world, be it the spring blossom or the winter snow, bring to mind shared moments and happy thoughts.
- There’s nothing I can say that will ease your pain, but I want you to know that I am thinking of you. My deepest condolences.
- I wish I could gather the right words to ease your pain and offer you comfort.
- I can’t begin to understand your loss. Please let me know if there is anything, absolutely anything, I can do.
- Our deepest sympathies during your time of loss. Please know that we are here for you.
- May you someday find peace and love despite such a heavy loss.
- May you find comfort and healing in the love of those who remember with you.
- Nothing is harder than saying good-bye to someone you love. May you find comfort in your memories.
- At a time such as this, words cannot express our feelings. Please accept these flowers and hear the words we are not able to speak.
- “They lived and laughed and loved and left. And the world will never be the same.” – James Joyce
This list is just to get you started. If you want to craft a more personal message, you can find other inspiration in quotes about love, life and loss; furthermore, if the deceased was a naturalist or nature lover, you could use quotes from figures such as John Muir. Again, consider the life and interests of the departed. Lines from novels, poems and films might the most appropriate text you could send. Or pull from scripture if the family is religious.
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Other Pages — Funeral Flowers Ideas
If you’re interested in learning more about funeral flowers in general, we’ve grouped funeral flowers by color, explained the symbolism and meaning of funeral flowers, listed common types of flowers used in funeral arrangements, and described the different types of funeral arrangements. We’ve also looked into the history of funeral flowers.